Lindsay Babes It Up

Lindsay Lohan attends the AFI Black Tie Premiere of Emilio Estevez's Bobby in L.A. Nice to see Lindsay not tramping it up for once.

Do I like the lacy part at the bottom of the dress? I don't know.

By the way, Linds. You might want to come up with a different red-carpet move than blowing kisses and flashing the peace sign. You're starting to get sort of boring.

I know. The pizza box!

This season's hottest look. Lose the boots though, hon.

Russell Crowe Hard At Work

Russell Crowe on the set of his new movie 3:10 to Yuma. At first I thought the guy in the blue shirt was strangling Crowe, then I realized he was just fixing his costume. Oh well - maybe next time.

Jessica Alba Walks Her Mutt. And Her Dog.

Fantastic Four star Jessica Alba and her boyfriend take a break from scaring fish to walk their dog together in Vancouver. Ah, Canada. The home of the Mounties. And why do they call them Mounties? Because they're always mounting each other?

Note to self: Move to Canada. Now.


Love your coat Jess. Don't know what you're doing with your hair though. And when it's cold out you might want to consider a hat. Wouldn't want your brain to get chilly.

Chaplinesque.

And look. If an Olivia Newton-John video should break out, Jess will be all ready for it:

"Be Prepared" - it's not just the Boy Scouts' motto.

Update: The Chick Who Broke Up Reese and Ryan

It's official - Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon broke up because Ryan was screwing around.

And by "it's official" I mean "it's being reported by Page 6." So maybe "official" isn't the right word.

At any rate, it appears that Ryan and Reese are splitsville because Ryan couldn't keep his dick in his pants. And which tart was hot enough to jar Ryan away from his little Reesie-poo?

This bitch:


Abbie Cornish, a 24-year-old Australian actress, whom Phillippe met and got cozy with on the set of the movie Stop Loss. Cornish, it must be pointed out, is both 6 years younger than Reese and has one less Oscar - both qualities a man like Ryan might find appealing. Insecure dirty dog that he is.

By the way, according to The National Enquirer (another unimpeachable source like Page 6), the point-of-no-return for Ryan and Reese was reached two weeks ago when, after the premiere of Ryan's new movie Flags of Our Fathers, Reese discovered "incriminating e-mails" on Ryan's Blackberry.

Let Crabbie bestow a little wisdom here kids - when a man leaves e-mails from his lover on his Blackberry, and leaves said Blackberry lying around for his wife to pick up, then that man wants to get caught. Cause he's tired of the whole thing and is just looking for some way to end it. And doesn't have the balls to just confront his wife directly because, well, his balls are currently being kept in a little metal box in the corner of his wife's underwear drawer.

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This just in to Crabbie's Hollywood: Abbie Cornish's people are denying she had anything to do with breaking Reese and Ryan up, insisting their client and Ryan are "co-stars and that is it." Stupid of them to refute the claims given the great publicity opportunity that's been dropped in their lap. But I guess they don't want to help Abbie become famous.

Gretchen Wilson Likes Soldiers. And Gun Racks.

Redneck skank Gretchen Wilson hangs with the troops at Fort Hood, Texas. See anything you like, Gretch?

Nancy O'Dell Struts Her, Uh, Stuff

TV personality Nancy O'Dell at the 10th Annual Ace Gala Awards. If you think she looks hulking and scary here, you should've seen her before she shaved.

Paris Says She Doesn't Like Sex. And Monkeys Don't Like Playing With Each Other's Balls.

"Socialite" Paris Hilton insists that her sexy public persona is all just an act, and that in real life she's a wet blanket.

"People shouldn't judge me and assume that's how I am," Paris says of her reputation as a sex-pot. "I get in so many fights with guys who are like, 'In public, you are the sexiest sex symbol, but you're not sexual at all at home.' ... I'm like, 'Whatever, shut up. I don't wanna be.' I'd rather watch a movie or Lost, or like, eat."

Wow, Paris's life sounds a lot like the Crabster's. Blissing out in front of the tube with a big glass bowl full of Smarties. Only difference is, the Crabster would actually prefer to be having sex. With most of the same people Paris is apparently not having sex with. But not Travis Barker. Crabbie had a bad experience with a pierced cock once (profuse anal bleeding is not fun kids).