Rachel Zoe has fled her West Hollywood home after it was broken into and some thousands of dollars worth of designer crap was stolen. Dear Rachel: Wanna know where your stuff is? Just get a search warrant for Lindsay Lohan's trunk. She's a klepto. Actually, Rachel is reportedly planning on moving in to Sierra Tower where Lindsay herself once resided before being kicked out for turning the place into one huge party pad. Why did I just tell you that? Do you care where Rachel Zoe is going to live? No. I hope the Sierra Tower people have a lot of Glade on-hand - you just know this bitch reeks.
This is really sad isn't it? It's like the two sides of Katie are warring. The old Katie that wore shorts and wrinkled shirts and knew how to live is trying to come out but the new Katie of scarves and oversized sunglasses and taut-lipped severity is fighting her off. "Stay down happy-girl. We're Tom's now. We're not allowed to roll around in the grass till we've got leaves in our hair or play on the swings or smile or feel." She can't even wait for Chris Klein to rescue her, now that Chris has turned into a slimy guy who haunts airport bars. Who will save Katie?
Clooney is making a movie called Men Who Stare at Goats. Not Men Who Hump Goats. That would require him to wear a headscarf. He looks like Dennis Farina again. Except Farina wouldn't wear camo pants. Unless he was also humping goats.
Madonna went to some Gucci event dressed as my lawn. Okay I don't have a lawn. But if I had one it would look like that. Except there would be tons of dandelions and bits of garbage. And probably shit from the neighbors' dogs. And possibly a few lost children. How far do you think Madonna got with Rihanna before finding out she was an actual woman and not just a really sexy transvestite? Why does it look like Rihanna's hair is peeling off?
