The Osbournes have landed a variety show and the publicity blitz is on. It's cute see cause it's like the Osmonds but it's the Osbournes who are much less wholesome than the Osmonds but now they have a variety show just like the Osmonds except it's the modern-day kind of show where Ozzy is completely incoherent and Sharon physically assaults the guests and Kelly vomits blood and Jack stands there looking like a fatter, faggier version of Spencer Pratt. I'm guessing Donny and Marie will be guests at some point. I hope they also get really crazy and vomit stuff. That would be cool.
