See You, Bitch

Sunday was Sarah Palin's last day on the job as Alaska governor. Well, okay - in all honesty, her last actual day of work was a couple of weeks ago; but Sunday was the day she officially stepped down, inspiring impromptu renditions of "Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead" all over Alaska.

Now of course everyone's asking, "What's next for Sarah?" To which I reply, "Gee, I don't know, running for president?" Clearly, that's what the woman intends doing. Anyone who thinks differently is dangerously naive. And yes, I know she's facing ethics charges and blah blah, but do you think that matters to the assholes who would comprise her voter base?

You think the kind of brainless yahoos who support the likes of Glenn Beck and Dick Cheney would allow Palin's complete lack of ethics or, frankly, brains to come between them and their queen? They won't even remember that shit come 2012. And yeah, I'm putting her up against Obama in '12. She wants to be Reagan with tits, and Obama, the way he's going, could easily be her Carter.

Who Was The Matchmaker? Satan?

I go to sleep all innocent as a lamb then wake up to discover that Russell Brand is chasing Katy Perry all over Europe. Now I may never sleep again!

No, it's not a joke - Brand says he is in love with Perry and has even sent her a love poem. The Daily Mail says Katy replied to the poem with a photograph of her tits that had the word "poem" written on it.

Because she couldn't think of a poem, you see? Because she is stupid. Because every time she is lost for words she resorts to showing her tits. Which is all the time.

And why am I so disturbed by this? Because Russell Brand and Katy Perry are the two most insufferable people in the world and the thought of them together is almost more than I can take. I would sooner have Mischa Barton hook up with Michael Lohan. I would rather endure the thought of Maggie Gyllenhaal fucking Mike Huckabee.

Sarah Palin and Carrie Prejean double-teaming Glenn Beck (he wishes) would be less irritating than Brand putting his brand on that brainless cow Perry. Ugh, I'm going to be sick.

Score One For The Nutters

The Teabaggers have chalked up a kill, a census worker, hung by some maniac Glenn Beck fan in Kentucky, whose body was found with the word "fed" scrawled across his chest.

There are some who doubt the killing was politically motivated. I guess "fed" was a reference to K-Fed. Those Kentucky backwoods maniacs have never forgiven him for what he did to Britney.

I just hope the murdered census worker wasn't related to Burt Reynolds, otherwise his killers are going to be in big trouble.

Someone Found Their Running Mate

Looking for right-wing hate speech and daily incoherent babbling? Sarah Palin recommends Glenn Beck.

"FOX News' Glenn Beck is doing an extraordinary job this week walking America behind the scenes of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and outlining who is actually running the White House," Palin told her supporters on Facebook.

"Monday night he asked us to invite one friend to watch; tonight I invite all my friends to watch."

Glenn doesn't need viewers right now, he needs sponsors. Cause they've been abandoning him like the proverbial rats fleeing the sinking ship.

Maybe Sarah could hook him up with some fine Alaska companies. Caribou Skins 'r Us. Seal Blubber City. Wolf Murderers Ltd.

And how could Glenn repay Sarah's kindness? By agreeing to be her running mate in 2010.

Palin/Beck '10. Cause making sense is overrated.

Does He Think He's Funny?

I wonder, when Glenn Beck does these comedy bits, is he giggling because he thinks they're hysterical, or because he knows how horrible they are, and what a complete fraud he is? When oh when will the followers of Beck, Limbaugh, O'Reilly et al. realize that these fuckers are only in it for the cash, and don't really give a flying fuck about truth, justice, the American way or their own drooling minions?

By the way, David Letterman never made jokes about poisoning Sarah Palin. Just sayin'.

A Man Can Look Can't He?

This picture will be all over Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck and the rest of them. It wouldn't be so bad except for Sarkozy's little grin.

Barry's got more Clinton in him than we thought.

Thanks For Warning Us Jon

Jon Voight is on a crusade to stop Barack Obama from...I'm not sure quite what. Ruining America? Spreading socialism? Having sex with white women? Obviously, not everyone in that family is as fond of brown people as Angelina. But it's easy to see where she gets the crazy from. Voight has gone entirely off the rails; he makes Dennis Miller seem calm and reasonable.

I'm not entirely certain where Jon is going with his "false prophet" characterization of Obama. Does anyone really think of him as a prophet? He's using the kind of language that goes over well with other religious imbeciles, I guess. Jeez, this is what the right wing has going for it. Jon Voight. Rush Limbaugh. Glenn Beck. Sarah Palin. That dude from Growing Pains who thinks the second coming is right around the corner. That homophobe Miss California. Brain wizards.