Madonna has been over in the slums of Mumbai doing her caring about the plight of the downtrodden bit. The starving people are all like, "We heard there was a big star coming, so we got out our best tattered rags and drew up some signs. Then the limo pulled up and it wasn't even Angelina! It was some old blonde hag who looked worse-off than most of the corpses we drag to the river for the crocodiles! We felt so sorry for her, we immediately gave her all the food we had. Fucking hell man. We wanted Angelina."
Honestly, what does Madonna think she's accomplishing with these humanitarian missions? Oh, I know, she's "bringing attention to the horrible crisis." Well, attention don't put food on plates (or leaves or whatever the hell they eat their food off over there). Money does. So, how about peeling off a few bills for the poor wretches? Let them go spend it on food or medicine or booze or a blow-job, whatever makes them happy. Yeah, I'm sure they'd much rather have you trouncing around over there Madonna. "Can you heal my leprous sores? No? Can you give me money? No? Can you let me ride you like an emaciated, veiny, odd-smelling racehorse? No? Well what the fuck lady? What are you good for?"
She cares, that's what she's good for. You know, as long as she's got an open weekend on her schedule.
