Mike Huckabee has demonstrated himself eminently qualified to be president of the United States, not by evincing any great knowledge or proficiency or depth of thought, but for showing exactly the opposite.
Yes, here is a man with a capacity for calculated dopiness that may exceed that of even Ronald Reagan himself. Yesterday, in an interview with an Iowa newspaper, Huckabee put the full range of his fake doofosity on display for all to see. The former Arkansas governor was challenged by a reporter over his apparent utter lack of foreign policy knowledge, and specifically his ignorance of the recent National Intelligence Estimate on Iran. The candidate's response:
The point I’m trying to make is that, on the campaign trail, nobody’s going to be able, if they’ve been campaigning as hard as we have been, to keep up with every single thing, from what happened to Britney last night to who won “Dancing with the Stars."
Read between the lines of Huckabee's absurd statement and you get to the crux of his whole campaign strategy. It becomes clearer still when you remember the candidate's remarks about Jamie Lynn Spears's pregnancy - not the actual substance of the remarks, but the fact that he made them at all. Here, basically, is what Huckabee is telling the American people:
"I, Mike Huckabee, am like you. I don't give a damn about all that complicated stuff like the National Intelligence Estimate. Iran? We'll just bomb those fuckers if the time comes. No, America - I, like you, am a completely frivolous person. I know more about what's going on in the life of Britney Spears's sister than I do about what's happening in the world's problem areas. So, if you vote for me, you won't be voting for some smart guy in a suit who's going to confuse you with big words or scare you with ideas you can't grasp. You'll be voting for your good pal Mike who has to watch what he eats or else he'll become a big fat-ass again (and who doesn't know what that feels like); who doesn't believe in evolution; who thinks homos are evil and that you can get AIDS just by shaking hands with one; who has no question that he is loved by Jesus and who not only knows what "Dancing With the Stars" is but watches it and thinks it's a great show."
This is a terrifying man. And he may just win.
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