Friday, August 29, 2008

It's Called Birth Control


Angelina Jolie is being run ragged by the stresses of caring for newborn twins. "She's in tears up to three times a day and so tired that Brad's found her collapsed asleep in the bath twice," a source reports. "She's been working around the clock, breast-feeding the babies and trying to get them to sleep. But as soon as one of them drops off, the other wakes up for another feed. She's also not eating very much right now and blames that on being busy. The doctor says that she needs more calories to gain strength and ensure that her breast milk is healthy."

I don't think anything could ever make Angie's breast milk healthy - I'd rather suck milk straight out of a cow that had been mainlining rBGH. I suppose some people feel sorry for poor Angie but I don't. No one made her have two more kids. It's not like she's some poor, ignorant African who thinks condoms are the work of the devil. She's fully informed about her options and doesn't have weird superstitions or a domineering man forcing her legs open. Stupid bitch is just addicted to babies. She loves that feeling of someone being utterly dependent on her. Her twisted psyche needs that sort of helpless, clinging, uncomplicated love. So, no matter how much misery she suffers, she'll just keep pumping out more kids until her reproductive system is completely shot. And then she'll adopt more. It will never be enough for her and her gaping maw of a soul.