It's official: John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston have broken up. The confirmation comes via People and its multiple sources, one of whom said the following:
They had a great time together but they are just in different places in their lives right now.
Yeah, like Jennifer wants to screw only John, but John wants to screw anything with tits. Another source said John may waffle a bit before finally walking away:
He never ends things with a clean slate. He likes to dwell on these relationships and sort everything out before saying goodbye for good.
He likes angling for one last farewell fuck, in other words. Yup, he's a slick one.
This sheds new light on Aniston's lip-plumping adventure, no? Clearly that was some kind of desperate attempt at making herself more attractive, so she could compete with the younger women he was chasing. Poor Jen. You go for you the young fuck-happy guy, you get burned. Jeez, it's almost like she wants to get hurt.
