Page 6 describes the spectacle Ashley Olsen recently made of herself with her fuckmate at dinner:
Ashley Olsen and her boyfriend, actor Justin Bartha, hardly came up for air during a recent dinner at Serafina on East 61st Street, where they were holding hands and making out all through the meal. "She was all over him," said our spy. "Another girlfriend of hers was also at the table. Ashley was very nice to everyone, but seemed more occupied with her boyfriend than anything else." The tiny Olsen downed two Bloody Marys on the terrace and ate a little bit of spaghetti.
If I were sitting somewhere trying to eat and a pair of rude little shits started pawing each other like that I would immediately get up and make a huge deal out of storming out of the place while promising never to patronize the establishment again. Of course I would be alone in this, and this is the whole trouble with our society. We tolerate scumminess instead of rising against it en masse as we should. Not only should we not put up with Olsen Twins and their rudeness, we should round up all two of them and tar and feather them and put them in stocks in the public square and let people throw rotten fruit at their ugly pouting faces. And then shoot them and feed their corpses to our hogs.
