Christina Aguilera is reportedly knocked up. This comes as a great shock to those who assumed her womb was too polluted for anything but very hardy forms of mold to take root there.
Said an individual close to the revolting pop-star:
She's been telling friends ... she has to be three months now, because she's announcing it.
Okay, so the next question is obvious - who's the father? Oh I know, she's married to that Bratman character, but come on - do you honestly believe she's only been sleeping with that guy? This bitch has had more dicks in her than Perez's rashy asshole. God knows which of them actually did the sperminating. Considering how diseased Aguilera's reproductive organs must be, only an alien probably has sperm strong enough to do the deed. Or maybe Kevin Federline.
(source)
