Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Paris's Jailhouse Starvation Diet



Paris Hilton, you'll be shocked to know, did not suffer as much deprivation in jail as we were lead to believe. In fact, according to a story in today's Page 6, Paris pretty much did nothing but stuff her face while locked up in Lynwood.

No, Paris was not having expensive pastries or anything like that smuggled in - she was procuring the food legitimately. Apparently, in Lynwood, it is possible to purchase snacks, as well as beauty products, from a commissary - a luxury Paris partook of to the tune of $145. Which, needless to say, is a lot more than your average Lynwood guest would be spending in a little less than three weeks.

So what exactly did Paris get for her $145? French vanilla coffee packs, chicken noodle soup, toffee peanut treats, banana nut muffins, packs of chicken broth and a jar of Vaseline. Not exactly Mandela wasting away in a dank cell, huh?

Oh, and of course Paris didn't have to haul all that shit back to the cell herself. She had deputies carrying the stuff for her. Said one pissed-off member of the Lynwood staff:

I don't understand what the big deal is; she's a nobody. ... She's got sheriffs bringing her food. This was unbelievable.

Yeah - and the next thing we're going to find out is that Lee Baca was in there giving her pedicures. Does anyone doubt now that they bent over backward for this bitch? They didn't even make her carry her own banana nut muffins. And this whore is running around like she suffered some terrible ordeal. Oh yeah - they only had generic chicken broth. Poor Paris - how did she stand it?

(source)