Reese Witherspoon is over Ryan Phillippe. Really. Over him. I don't think he's over her though. Just a feeling. - A Socialite's Life
Jennifer Aniston says Paul Sculfor is better in the sack than Brad Pitt. Yeah, but can Paul roll over and play dead on command? - The Dirty Disher
Justin Timberlake needs pills for his gas. Is that the stuff coming out his ass or his mouth? - Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Hayden Panettiere licks a statue's ass. Somebody get this girl a boyfriend, stat. - Agent Bedhead
Mandy Moore poses all pretty and stuff. Sorry, she's still fat. - Egotastic!
Hilary Duff poses in a bikini. Sorry, she's still ugly. - Hollywood Tuna
Coco shows Kim Kardashian what an ass looks like. - Hollywood Rag
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen go out together. They're even more indistinguishable drunk than they are sober. - Popsugar
