Newsflash: Paula Abdul is having sex. That's her up there with her new boyfriend J.J. Torregiani. He looks like a cross between David Gest and some ex-boybander. Paula appears to be happy at least. One of these days the drugs are gonna wear off though, and J.J.'s gonna realize he's having sex with Paula Abdul. Then he'll go running back to Simon.
All right, that was lame. Simon's not gay. It's Seacrest J.J. will go running back to. Sorry, that was lame too. Everyone knows Randy Jackson is the homo on that show. Dawg.
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