The ratings have tanked on Jon and Kate Plus Marital Discord and Public Child Abuse. So you know what that means - a very special episode featuring a very special announcement. Most assume this means Jon and Kate are splitting, but there are a few other possibilities:
- Kate has decided to get with it, and is letting some of Jon's skanks move in to the house.
- Kate is pregnant with Lil Wayne's babies.
- Octomom and Kate will be dragging their collective broods off to a tropical island for a Survivor-style last-kid-standing competition.
- The authorities finally found the body of Kate's missing first husband.
- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has been spotted living in the tool shed.
- Kate reveals that she has become a seer. She predicts that the world will end in exactly six months when her cooch erupts like fifteen Krakatoas, wiping out all life.
- Jon reached down there one day and realized he had a pair. And now he's gone like a motherfucker.
- Kate has dumped Jon and the kids and moved in with the artist formerly known as the Dirty Disher. They have become lesbian lovers, and will be opening their own crafts store.
- Kate has joined forces with Sarah Palin and Carrie Prejean to form a new girl group called The Three Unspeakable Brainless Bitches.
- Kate will be starting her own talk show. Her first guest? Herself. Her second guest? Herself. Her third guest? Billy Mays of infomercial fame!
