Twitter is what all the cool kids are doing. And I know you wanna be a cool kid. So you better get your ass on Twitter and follow me at http://twitter.com/crabbiekins. Now, fucker.
Here's a selection of my recent tweets, just to give you an idea of the hilarity you are missing:
"Small annoyances: I have to flush my toilet twice every time. It never works right the first time. Ever."
"I have now sneezed twice in the last 24 hours. Do I need to panic and get checked for swine flu?"
"What would happen, I wonder, if all the uncivilized assholes of the world suddenly acquired self-awareness?"
"Is this show Community any good? Trudy Campbell is on it I see. Not sure if I'm ready to accept Mad Men actors as other characters."
And if that doesn't float your boat, you can always follow Jon Gosselin.
