Barbara Walters sucked the right dick and got an exclusive phone interview with Paris Hilton, who remains locked up in a medical ward at Twin Towers. In said interview (which Barbara is supposed to be revealing more about on today's View), Paris reportedly said that she's tired of "playing dumb," and that she sees her jail time as a "new chance" given to her by God. Paris also says she was "severely depressed" in Lynwood, and that she felt as though she was "in a cage."
Couple things. First, the idea that Paris was only pretending to be dumb is hilarious. This is not the first time she's insisted that the dizzy blonde thing is all an act, but come on - it's not an act. Second - Paris honey, God doesn't give a shit about you. He's too busy picking up the remains of his TV which he smashed after last night's Sopranos finale. I'm just glad I'm not David Chase this morning - boils and sores suck.
Third, Barbara Walters has become one of the more laughable whores in all the media. She needs to take her speech impediment-having ass off to the rest-home now - there's a tray of jello and a never-ending game of gin-rummy waiting for her.
Fourthly, and most importantly - no matter what Paris Hilton says about her new chance, she will emerge from jail in a couple of weeks, take some time off, and by August (at the latest) be back to behaving like a complete skankbot. Because, in spite of what Paris says, she cannot help herself - it is not all just a pretend thing she does for publicity. She really is a self-absorbed little slut, and the second someone points a camera at her, that instinct will kick back in. Paris's slagginess is like the tides, or the motions of the planets - predictable, and inexorable.
(source)
