Monday, December 17, 2007

Travolta Paid To Go Away Quietly


You won't be hearing any comments from John Travolta about his sudden departure from the big-screen adaptation of Dallas that his name has been attached to since almost the beginning. That's because the producers, having decided to go in a different direction with the project, have paid Travolta a seven-figure sum in return for the actor quietly and unfussily getting lost.

The project was originally to be a straight, dramatic adaptation of the iconic '80s TV show, starring Travolta as oil man J.R. Ewing and Jennifer Lopez as his combative wife Sue Ellen. But things started disintegrating early on, and eventually the entire original cast, with the exception of Travolta, was canned. Then 20th Century Fox dreamed up the dubious plan of re-working the whole thing in the style of the recent movie Bewitched - a slapstick comedy about the making of a TV show. It was determined that Travolta would not be right for such a film - a slam at his comedic talents? - and now his part has been offered to Ben Stiller.

First of all, Travolta is a wanker, and I don't know why anyone would want him in a movie to begin with. Secondly, when someone cans you from a silly movie like this and wants to replace you with Ben Stiller, that's basically like saying, "You just aren't hip enough. We want someone younger who the 18-35 male dipshit demo will relate to." Which begs another question...who the hell within that particular demo is going to care a shit about a movie version of Dallas, regardless of who's in it, and what style it's done in? I'm old and used to like Dallas, and I don't even care about this. I wouldn't watch this movie if it had J.R. and Bobby naked and slipping it to each other brother-style in an "it was all a dream" shower scene.

Travolta should be thrilled that he was given a chicken-shit out from having to be in this disaster, not to mention the seven-figures he was paid to keep his yap shut about it. Now he can take that money and buy another jet to annoy his neighbors with, and perhaps some more video games and Doritos for his autistic son who should be in a special school but isn't because Scientologists don't believe in autism.

(source)