Johnny Depp is a big star but can't find an umbrella caddie? What the fuck is that about? Shit man, I'd carry the damn thing for him for free. Just being near him would be payment enough. I'd also willingly eat the fungus from between his toes, chew his food for him and take care of any pubic hair grooming he might need. I'll make that shit pretty. Tie ribbons in it.
