Unfortunate Condition

Fergie's tapeworm escaped from her body, coiled its way around her, and began eating her dress. It found the dress more nourishing than whatever was in Fergie's gut. Actually, I'm just joking - Fergie never had a tapeworm. Disgusting parasites normally contracted in shitty places like Bangladesh and Shreveport can't live where the toxicity levels are so high. Fergie's urine has been known to melt lead.