We may have seen the last of veiny, Iggy Pop-looking Madonna - and we have Guy Ritchie to thank for it.
Yes, it appears Ritchie is not merely Madonna's personal lap-dog after all. According to reports, Ritchie finally got sick of having sex with a skin-covered skeleton, and told his creepy wife to put some weight on. Madonna then consulted her personal fitness guru, Sting's wife, and was told to add a porridge breakfast to her strict macrobiotic diet. A source reports:
[Madonna] used to start the day with a miso soup and a fruit smoothie but found porridge improved her skin and keeps her full for longer. She eats it after her daily exercise regime. But she has also been cutting back on the gym and weights, in favour of Pilates, which is why her arms look less sinewy.
What kind of fucking breakfast is miso soup (whatever the fuck that is) and a fruit smoothie? Hasn't this bitch ever heard of Rice Krispies? And what the hell does she think she's going to get out of macrobiotic whateverthefuck and Pilates and all that shit anyway? Does she honestly expect us to believe living like that makes her feel better? Bullshit. Scarfing gallons of ice cream - that's what makes you feel better. Chomping down cookies until your apartment floor looks like there was an explosion at a Chips Ahoy factory - that's what gives you a sense of well-being. Healthy living is for suckers, and self-deluded people who think they're going to forestall their arrival at the Pearly Gates.
Sorry Maddona, but even curd-eating yoga-freaks die. Those people just die miserable because their last meal was soy-based, instead of the nice, big, juicy steak they really wished for.
(source)
