Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Beckham's Auction Bust


David Beckham may be a big star in Europe, but in America he ain't squat - at least not to the kind of high-rollers who pay big money for items at celebrity auctions. Beckham, who recently signed a huge contract with pro footy club the L.A. Galaxy, had a private soccer lesson up for bid at Oscar night's AIDS Foundation charity auction, and it received the lowest bid of the evening, a paltry $70,000.

What? You mean there wasn't some gay guy willing to shell out more than $70,000 for a private "soccer lesson" from Beckham? What the hell is the matter with these people? I mean, even if you don't care about soccer, wouldn't you still want to hang out with Becks for awhile? Kick the old football around the back yard, Becks in his hot little soccer outfit, getting all sweaty, and you getting all sweaty. Afterward you suggest to Becks that he should have a shower, then follow him into the bathroom and ask him if he needs you to loofah his back for him. Maybe one thing leads to another. You have a few drinks. Back-rub. Anal penetration...

Don't these fools have any imagination?