Instructions for looking like a maniac at Oscars: Take one jacket. Cut in half. Add wacky angular collar and goofy sleeve adornments. Now take one old, wrinkled prom dress. Sew half-jacket to it. Don long glove, leaving other hand bare. Plaster slightly-embarrassed expression to face. Enjoy...
Whoopi never got to play the Fairy Godmother in that rock-opera version of
Cinderella. But she had the costume lying around, so she figured, what the hell...
Is that a dress or is Geena Davis shitting satin ruffles?
Cher shows us how Vegas showgirls would dress if their clothes were designed by Zulu warriors from Planet Mongo.
"Yes, they're breasts. No, the right one isn't sliding down my body. No, I did not listen to my mother when she lectured me about my posture..."
A little history lesson from Diane Keaton. Back in the '20s, this is how daring women dressed when they wanted to be androgynous and kinky. Diane knows cause she was there. She had a torrid fling with Ramon Novarro. He told her she would look hot if she dressed like an Astor - a male Astor. With big hips and stock in a company specializing in hats that don't fit.
"Hello everyone. I am the stupidest outfit in the history of the Oscars. I was conceived in the drug-addled brain of Bjork's best friend. Unfortunately, I am unable to move, otherwise I would do what everyone wants me to - strangle Bjork. Please, someone put me out of my misery. Please."
Helena Bonham Carter makes history by reconceiving Eliza Doolittle as a crackhead Goth chick. The play is called
My Angst-Ridden Lady. In it, Henry Higgins fails to teach Eliza good diction, because they're too busy being bombed out of their skulls, and the two wind up hitchhiking to Tacoma.
Yes, even Barbra Streisand has committed heinous fashion transgressions. This particular outfit is described as a "sheer bell-bottomed pant-suit." It's sheer all right. Sheer atrociousness (I apologize for the Melissa Rivers-like line).
And, yes, what rundown of Oscar-night fashion mishaps would be complete without this little gem from several years back - Angelina Jolie and her brother dressing up like Dracula's progeny. Wow, Angelina's come a long way since those days, hasn't she? Now she no longer seeks attention via zany fashion choices - she does it by holding Brad Pitt prisoner. Free Brad.
Instructions for looking like a maniac at Oscars: Take one jacket. Cut in half. Add wacky angular collar and goofy sleeve adornments. Now take one old, wrinkled prom dress. Sew half-jacket to it. Don long glove, leaving other hand bare. Plaster slightly-embarrassed expression to face. Enjoy...
Whoopi never got to play the Fairy Godmother in that rock-opera version of Cinderella. But she had the costume lying around, so she figured, what the hell...
Is that a dress or is Geena Davis shitting satin ruffles?
Cher shows us how Vegas showgirls would dress if their clothes were designed by Zulu warriors from Planet Mongo.
"Yes, they're breasts. No, the right one isn't sliding down my body. No, I did not listen to my mother when she lectured me about my posture..."
A little history lesson from Diane Keaton. Back in the '20s, this is how daring women dressed when they wanted to be androgynous and kinky. Diane knows cause she was there. She had a torrid fling with Ramon Novarro. He told her she would look hot if she dressed like an Astor - a male Astor. With big hips and stock in a company specializing in hats that don't fit.
"Hello everyone. I am the stupidest outfit in the history of the Oscars. I was conceived in the drug-addled brain of Bjork's best friend. Unfortunately, I am unable to move, otherwise I would do what everyone wants me to - strangle Bjork. Please, someone put me out of my misery. Please."
Helena Bonham Carter makes history by reconceiving Eliza Doolittle as a crackhead Goth chick. The play is called My Angst-Ridden Lady. In it, Henry Higgins fails to teach Eliza good diction, because they're too busy being bombed out of their skulls, and the two wind up hitchhiking to Tacoma.
Yes, even Barbra Streisand has committed heinous fashion transgressions. This particular outfit is described as a "sheer bell-bottomed pant-suit." It's sheer all right. Sheer atrociousness (I apologize for the Melissa Rivers-like line).
And, yes, what rundown of Oscar-night fashion mishaps would be complete without this little gem from several years back - Angelina Jolie and her brother dressing up like Dracula's progeny. Wow, Angelina's come a long way since those days, hasn't she? Now she no longer seeks attention via zany fashion choices - she does it by holding Brad Pitt prisoner. Free Brad.
