Cameron Diaz. No more pot jokes. Let's make fun of her clothes instead. She looks like Columbo. "Book 'em, Dan-o." Oh wait, that was Hawaii Five-0. 
I'm now less disturbed by the influence of Scientology on Katie than that of Poshy. I think Poshy was the one who taught her to keep this expression on her face. It's supposed to be Katie's "serious" look, but she can't do it right, so it just looks like her shoes hurt. Or maybe her shoes just hurt. Or maybe she's got that ringing in her ear that comes whenever the behavioral inhibitor chip kicks in. 
All right, why is the light on Biel's face the same color as her dress? She didn't have someone following her around with a colored light, did she? And is that the same dress she wore to the ceremony? Aren't stylish ladies supposed to change? Cameron did. I guess Jessica figured her dress was functional enough that she didn't mind traipsing around in it all night. Some of those dresses, you can't even walk in (I'm told).
Sean Penn kind of laughs at Sacha Baron Cohen. You just know they're discussing how ignorant and gullible Americans are. They both hate America. Oh, and look at how admiringly Isla Fisher gazes at Sacha. She thinks he's brilliant. Why? Cause he has a British accent? What an airhead. I mean Isla. And Penn too.
Beyonce, Oprah and Mary J. Blige. Beyonce's boobs are trying to make contact with Oprah's it appears. There's some kind of weird boob-telepathy going on. Maybe Oprah's boobs are telling Beyonce's not to be jealous of Jennifer Hudson's. Face it Beyonce, Jennifer's a better singer than you, a better actress than you, and her boobs are finer. Honestly, name one thing you have that's better than Jennifer. The ass? All right, I'll give you the ass. But after the ass? Your weave? Your armpits? What? Beyonce - what a loser.
Robert Downey, Jr. makes out with a woman who is apparently his wife Susan. This is real progress for them. Not long ago, Susan couldn't hope to distract Downey from his coke. Now if she waves her hands around vigorously, she sometimes manages to catch his attention.
Oh look, it's Madonna and Gwyneth. My, my - two little English lasses sharing a spot of fun. Well, cheerio to them. Hoist another pint then, eh lassies? Put another shrimp on the barbie...er, no, that's Australia. Hmm, let's see - how 'bout some bangers and hash? Fish and chips? Damn, Kevin Kline was right about the English in A Fish Called Wanda - they are fucking lame.
