Looks like Angelina Jolie has some competition for savior of humanity - from none other than Scarlett Johansson. What, Scarlett's not content being the big-bazoomed object of Woody Allen's droolingly perverted desire? Apparently not. Apparently, Scarlett wants to be taken seriously now, not just as an actress but as a humanitarian. To that end, Scarlett has been going around India, touring schools and slums on behalf of Oxfam. Says Oxfam's south Asian director, Ashvin Dayal, "We are delighted that Scarlett is supporting Oxfam and our work to help end global poverty. High-profile support helps us to raise awareness of these issues and urge governments and leaders worldwide to act."Well, all that's fine and good - Scarlett is no different than any other celeb who's trying to validate their otherwise worthless existence via photo-op. However, I wonder if Scarlett is really a good choice for this one. I mean, Angelina at least exudes a sense of suffering, and often looks nearly as emaciated as the slum folks she's pretend-ministering to. They can relate to her. They think to themselves, "Man, she's rich and famous, and she looks almost as bad as I do." It helps their self-esteem if nothing else. Scarlett, on the other hand - well, let's just say, Scarlett ain't starving. Not that she's fat - she just has certain exaggerated proportions. All those frail, stick-thin women over there, they look at Scarlett, and they must just feel like God is rubbing it in. They think, "But for the accident of being born in this craphole, I could've been this woman." But then again, if they're Hindu, they probably don't think that at all. Then they probably just think, "Well, in the next life..." Yes, in the next life, you too could be Scarlett Johansson. But watch your karma, or you could wind up as Courtney Love.
