Oscar-winner Helen Mirren. You just know she got crazy last night. Girl used to be pretty wild back in the day. She still has a tattoo on her hand that she got while hanging out with a bunch of Indians in Minnesota. She did a great job playing that repressed old hag Queen Elizabeth though. Must've hurt her ass, pinching it so tight day after day.
The Smith family. Andre Leon Talley kept calling them "Hollywood's First Family." Come on Andre, everyone knows that's the O'Neals. The Smiths are too boring and normal to be Hollywood's first family. Why, as far as we know, little Jayden hasn't even been in rehab yet. I bet he did try to get a piece of Abigail Breslin last night, though. Little smoothie.
Host Ellen Degeneres and her girl Portia de Rossi. Um, do they look happy to you? Maybe they just don't like having their picture taken. I'm sorry, but that de Rossi chick just seems like the most stuck-up dyke on the face of the earth. And Degeneres - she's not a rageaholic like Rosie, but I bet she has her moments.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes hang with Vanity Fair's own Graydon Carter. So what do we think of Poshy's styling work on Tom and Katie? Katie's look is a bit severe, isn't it? We know Poshy likes that deadly-serious thing, but I think it's wrong for Katie. She should be more good-humored in public. If she has any good-humor left after being in the presence of a bunch of self-important asshole Scientologist freaks.
Speaking of unhappy couples - Jesus, Nicole and Keith, could you be more miserable? Honestly, I have yet to see a picture of these two where they actually look comfortable in each other's presence. Usually people have to be married a few years before the strain starts to show, but these two - they were straining even before they got married. People need to give these decisions more thought.
Here's Keith Urban with Dixie Trick...er, Chick...Natalie Maines. He's got the same dumb smile plastered on his face as in the picture with Nicole. I guess that's just his "smiling through the tears" face. Must be rough on old Keith, being in a party full of drunk people. Funny Nicole would even want to go to such a place with him. Doesn't she have any concern for his well-being? I guess playing the Hollywood game is more important to her than the health of the man she allegedly loves.More Vanity Fair party pics later...
