Paris Hilton may finally have wised-up about her buddy Brandon Davis. Or, I hope she's wised-up. After what went down at Paris's 26th birthday party, she better have wised-up. Because anyone who keeps a friend around who behaves like such an unconscionable boor - well, that person deserves whatever misery is heaped upon their flitty little head.
So what did Brandon do, anyway, to finally convince Paris to show him the door? The petroleum-secreting oil heir did nothing less than completely ruin Paris's party. According to reports, Paris's parents shelled out an outrageous sum to arrange the shindig at the Rodeo Drive restaurant Prime Grill - they allegedly spent $10,000 on the flowers alone. All went swimmingly at first - Paris was radiant, Stavros Niarchos on her arm, her bud Nicole Richie and boyfriend Joel Madden by her side. Then the trouble began. Around 10 p.m., Brandon, surely bombed out of his mind on something, began his attempt to set an all-time record for most revolting behavior.
The first target of Davis's inebriated foolishness was Paula Abdul, who was there to sing "Happy Birthday" to Paris. For some reason Davis began pelting Paula with flowers, then started pegging styrofoam flower-holders at her, and was heard saying, "Lick my [bleep], Paula." Then he raised the ante by speaking nonsense in an Arabic accent, mocking Paula's ethnic heritage. At this point Paris and Stavros tried shutting him up, but Paula had already had enough and was out the door (without singing). But wait, it gets better. Having finished with Paula, Davis then set his sights on Courtney Love, who was at the party with her 15-year-old daughter Frances Bean. According to a witness, Brandon "lifted [Courtney] up so that she was straddling his waist. ... Her Chanel dress was riding up. Brandon was saying, 'I want to squirt on you.' He was humping Courtney in front of her daughter... When he put her down, Courtney grabbed Frances and they marched out of the restaurant through the kitchen."
So Brandon was 2-for-2. But there would be no more conquests for the King of Assholes this night. Paris finally got upset with him after he knocked over some candles and glasses - she screamed at her mother, "This is not my fault!" Brandon was then talked into leaving, and the party was allowed to finish. Afterward, Paris and her buds went to her house for some further revelry (a website will soon have the pictures, I'm sure). An undaunted Brandon reportedly showed up there too, but Paris's security people had been told by this time to keep him away, and he was escorted out. There has been no official statement about the matter from either Paris's people or Brandon.
So, did Brandon Davis finally cross the line, and convince Paris Hilton to find a better class of friends? I'd like to think so, but I doubt it. The problem with Paris is that, deep-down, she was probably amused by Brandon's behavior. Had he done that stuff in a different setting, without her parents around, she probably would've laughed. But, her parents were there, so some kind of childish parent-pleasing reflex took over, compelling her to get upset. She had no choice but to have Brandon kicked out of the party, but it wouldn't shock me if, in a day or two, they're back together again, sliming all over each other. It's going to take more than one little embarrassment to break up that team. Because, let's face it, they're perfect for each other. Neither one has a drop of class, and both seem completely heartless and sadistic. They both live to mock and torment people. Davis is so bad that it wouldn't surprise me to hear he was whacking squirrels' heads off with a golf-club like Michael Skakel. This is how these people are - these privileged types. The rest of humanity is just there for their amusement. Of course, Paris isn't as bad as Davis. Paris at least has a little shame; Davis has none. The man is so repulsive and worthless that you can't even laugh when he torments Paula Abdul. He actually makes me feel for Paula. And even Courtney Love, who barely seems human anymore, becomes a sympathetic figure when Davis picks on her. I think Brandon Davis may have achieved his goal - he has become the most sickening, low, vile piece of refuse in the universe. He's even worse than Russell Crowe.
