Only Paris Hilton could turn a simple trip to the Virgin Megastore into a circus. Last night around 10:30, the well-known coke-snorting harlot hit the VM in West Hollywood to buy some DVDs, but forgot to turn her headlights on after she left. Sheriff's deputies spotted the nitwit driving around sans lamps and pulled her over. It was then that the deputies discovered Paris was driving with a suspended license. They cited her, and impounded her $200,000 Bentley convertible.
First of all, who the hell goes out to buy DVDs at 10:30 at night? How bad do you really need that 3rd copy of The Complete H.R. Pufnstuf, Paris? And second of all - Paris. Nighttime? Headlights? Helps you see where you're going? Oh, of course you have an excuse, delivered by that miserable putz Elliot Mintz. According to Mintz, you were exiting a parking structure which was "brightly lit" so you didn't notice your headlights were off. And then about the license - Mintz said you weren't aware that it was suspended. How can you not be aware that your license is suspended? Are you in fact the most oblivious person on the face of the earth Paris? You're just lucky you didn't ingest any drugs or anything before going out. Cause then you really would've been up the creek. Of course, that fucker Mintz would've just made up some bullshit, like, "If Paris had drugs in her system, she wasn't aware of them." Yeah, you're just blameless, aren't you Paris? You never do anything wrong. It's always someone else. Or you're just not aware. Why couldn't you, just once, be driving someplace, and not be aware that you were headed straight toward the edge of a cliff?
Update: Looks like Paris is in big trouble. Maybe even headed-to-jail-trouble. Seems that last night's incident constituted a violation of the probation Paris had slapped on her by a judge after her DUI arrest late last year. That arrest also led to Paris's license being suspended - and yet Paris supposedly didn't know about the suspension. Right. And Paris also doesn't know she has a snatch. "Hey, what's that down there? Wow, I can put things in it. Like a bowling ball. Or Brandon Davis's head."
I say send the bitch to jail.
