I wish I was Posh's kid. I'd get to dress up like Steve Irwin and go to the grocery store to buy frozen peas and laxative. I'd get to stare down the paps like Keira Knightley on the rag. I'd get to stay up all night watching Spice World on a continuous loop while daddy was in the other room oiling up Will Smith and mommy was upstairs counting her pubic hairs. What a life.
