If there are pictures of Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman at the premiere of Australia then that must mean they're actually releasing the movie. Despite the fact that they were apparently still shooting it up until about five minutes ago, and it had to be cut way down because they were afraid of suicides. Seriously - I would rather sit through Ishtar five more times than see this movie once. I would rather have Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty do a comedy routine in my bedroom for six hours while high on meth. I would rather have Elaine May pummel me with her big saggy old lady tits. I would rather be gang-raped by ten rabid camels. I would rather have Charles Grodin lecture me about politics for five days then grease himself up and climb in my asshole and light a campfire and start singing "Waltzing Matilda." I really don't wanna see this movie. Have I made that clear?
