Lindsay Lohan got sick of running around L.A. pretending to be sober, so she moved her act to London, which has been suffering a huge out-of-control one-time performer shortage ever since Amy Winehouse packed up for St. Lucia. Actually, Lindsay is in London because Sam Ronson is there, and for some reason, Lindsay just can't get over that poon. What, does it dispense chocolate ice cream? Does it contain a gateway to a universe where the rivers run with Red Bull and the snow on the mountains is that other kind of snow? How long before Lohan is hoing it up with the Geldof sisters? I really hope Lindsay stays away from them. Those bitches are bad news.
