Actress Teri Hatcher is fed up with people accusing her of employing less-than-natural means to achieve her unique appearance. "I don't use Botox or Restylane and I've never had any surgery," says the middle-aged Desperate Housewives star, "no matter what you've read."
Okay Teri, so you've never used Botox or had plastic surgery. So that means you look like that naturally. And you're sure you still want to insist you haven't had any work done? Cause, you know, most people as horrible-looking as you would be happy to use a botched face-lift or some kind of chemical treatment as an excuse. "It's not my fault, it was that damn butcher I went to in Guadalajara. I should've known something was up when I noticed his degree was written in crayon. And I never should've used that South American monkey urine he gave me either. My instincts should've warned me that injecting primate piss into my forehead wasn't a great idea."
Actually, I give Teri credit - it takes balls to admit that you're just naturally ugly. Giant balls. And Teri, she has giant balls. No, I mean literally. She has testicles. Cause she's a man. What, you didn't know?
