1. You talk in a high, screechy voice that gets even higher and screechier when you express your outrage over something Al Sharpton said.
2. You've seen Wedding Crashers more than once.
3. You've finished 708th in a marathon where places 1-707 were taken by Kenyans.
4. You're not in prison.
5. You don't find D.L. Hughley the least bit funny.
6. You thought Imus got screwed.
7. You've never had sex with Kim Kardashian.
8. You found Juno to be an uncannily accurate representation of everyday life.
9. You just don't get all the fuss over Tyler Perry.
10. Barack Obama makes you more than vaguely uncomfortable.
