Dina Lohan is once again gushing about how well her daughter Lindsay is doing in rehab. "She's amazing," said Dina at Friday's Child magazine fall 2007 fashion show in New York City. "She's great and she's happy. ... She's in a really good space right now."
Yeah, we know Dina - she's great and she's happy. Jeez, somebody buy Dina a thesaurus. Actually, don't bother - she wouldn't know what to do with it.
Seriously, Dina's monotonous refrains about how great Lindsay's doing are starting to get absurd. So absurd that they've actually begun reminding me of someone else who became famous for his outrageous denials of reality - Baghdad Bob. You remember Baghdad Bob. That crazy Iraqi spokesman who, during the first part of the war (you know, when we were winning), kept coming on TV declaring that the Iraqis were kicking our asses when we knew for a fact it was the other way around. He became something of a cult figure thanks to Jay Leno and those folks. Dina, I think, has achieved a Baghdad Bob level of ridiculousness. Because we know that Lindsay isn't great and happy and amazing and all of those things - we know that Lindsay is miserable. She's in rehab instead of out partying where she wants to be. And she's not in rehab because of her own decision either - she's there because the movie people threatened to sue her not-showing-up-for-work ass and it scared her. She was forced in there. So quit it, Dina aka Baghdad Bob. We know Lindsay is terminally unhappy, and we know whose fault it is - you and that piece of shit father of hers. You thrust her into a world she wasn't emotionally equipped to deal with, and now, at an age when she should be partying and having a good time, she finds herself constantly hounded by the press and forced to answer for things no normal post-adolescent should have to answer for. So what if Lindsay wants to have a few slugs of vodka or snort a few lines? What Dina, you never drank or did blow? Of course you did (and do). But because Lindsay's the bread-winner for your O'Neal-like brood, she's the one who has to clean herself up, while you get to go around being as big a drunken skank as ever. How is that fair? It's not. But of course you would never acknowledge that. No, all you can do is fire into some neurotic litany about how amazing and good Lindsay is. Pathetic.
