I heard a rumor once that Dina Lohan had a clue, but now I know this is absolutely not the case. Not after the elder Lohan's latest obnoxiously self-serving attempt at thrusting herself into the spotlight. Taking camera crews from Entertainment Tonight and The Insider along with her as she traveled from New York to L.A. to visit Lindsay in rehab - no, Dina Lohan is not all about making a dumb spectacle of herself. And never once in her entire life has she exploited Lindsay for her own personal gain. The trip to L.A., that was all about being there for Lindsay - and of course the cameras were just to show everyone the kind of craziness Lindsay has to put up with, so we can better understand the sort of pressures the poor child is under. Yes, this is what Dina wants us to believe - that allowing tabloid television programs to film her emotional reunion with her troubled spawn was somehow in Lindsay's best interests. And certainly, in Dina's own addled brain, this is exactly how she justifies it. Everything is all about Lindsay. Making sure she gets well. Making sure all us outsiders get how hard Lindsay is working, how much she's trying to get herself together. For us to suspect Dina of having less-than-honorable intentions - well, that's just crazy. She's Lindsay's mother and she loves Lindsay. How could anyone ever accuse her of exploitation? It starts becoming surreal, the way this woman spins her nonsense. Just sample a few of her quotes from the ETonline article about their "exclusive" Lohan reunion piece:
"I'm so proud of her for making that step, under a microscope -- bettering herself and still wanting to continue to work," Dina says of Lindsay's decision to enter rehab. "I wanted her to not work, but she said, 'Mommy, this is what I do.' And this is what she does every day -- this is her life."
Yes, it's her life Dina - because you made it her life. All you ever wanted was for your daughter to be rich and famous so you could leech off her. And guess what? Now she's rich and famous. And being "under the microscope" comes with that wealth and fame. Of course, some stars are more under the microscope than others. The ones who don't go around seeking publicity in completely shameless fashion tend to be less scrutinized - but of course we all know that Lindsay would never shamelessly seek publicity. She's all about privacy. Just like you Dina. So why do people make such a big deal about you two? It couldn't be things like inviting cameras to tag along when you visit each other, could it?
This bitch has a lot of nerve. Or maybe stupidity just looks like nerve at some point. Anyway, Dina has done a good job memorizing all the stock complaints. Like the old blame the media - oh yeah, she's got that one down pat:
"Well, it's obvious they fabricate [stories], they make it up," she says of the tabloids. "It's not even true and that's the hurtful part. Someone has to stop the madness and the lies."
Yes, the tabloids are to blame for all the stories about Lindsay. Because, as we know, none of them ever actually happened. Lindsay never drank and drugged - she's in Wonderland because she digs the ambiance. And she never had sex with all those people either. The tabloids just have this big hat, and every time they need a story they pick a name out of it, and write a piece about Lindsay having sex with that person. "Lindsay Lohan Dating Benjamin Netanyahu." I expect to see that one any day now. Of course, the whole reputation Lindsay's earned as a slut has nothing to do with her vagina-flashing tendencies either. Those pictures were all photoshopped. It's all a huge conspiracy to paint virginal little Lindsay as a whore. Because we all have nothing better to do than smear your daughter. In fact, that's pretty much all any of us think about. What can we make up about Lindsay today? "Lindsay Lohan In Crazy Three-Way With Al Gore And Sea Otter." Wow. That was fun.
Of course, for Dina it's not so much about defending Lindsay as portraying herself as a loving parent:
Dina says she'll do what it takes to take care of her daughter, including surrounding Lindsay with the friends she's had forever because there are some "sketchy" people in her life. "I have nothing to lose here, this is my child," she says. "Any mother out there listening would fight for their child till death."
Ooh, Dina's prepared to fight for Lindsay till death. She'll wrestle alligators for her. Or fend off poisonous vipers. It's obvious, when Dina makes statements like this, that what really bothers her is the criticism of her parenting. People look at Lindsay's behavior and say, "What kind of mother would let her kid go around like that?" And, of course, rather than actually do anything real to help Lindsay or try to get her life on a new course, Dina's response is to go on TV and make melodramatic pronouncements. Because that's the kind of person she is. A complete and utter neurotic. Incapable of accepting reality, and always looking to deflect blame from herself.. "Any mother out there listening would fight for their child till death" is her way of saying "You can't criticize me because I love Lindsay." Well, we have no doubt that you love Lindsay, Dina. The problem is that love by itself is not enough. At some point, a little judgment is required. And the ability to look oneself in the eye and confess one's mistakes.
Of course, Dina is not entirely wrong when she accuses the media of bearing some blame for Lindsay's situation. The media are complicit in the disaster that is Lindsay's life. Because they continue to enable Lindsay and Dina by their slobbering, fawning attention. Take Entertainment Tonight, for example. Nice little story they're getting out of this (thanks to Dina). And don't for a second think ET aren't grateful for the access Dina has afforded them. They show their gratitude in the way they present the story:
As a Hollywood mom, Dina Lohan could sit back and watch the frenzy going on around her daughter, but instead, she's choosing to fight back as she gives ET and entertainment correspondent Gina Glickman full access to her trip from New York to Los Angeles to reunite with Lindsay in rehab.
That was written by Entertainment Tonight people, not Dina's publicist. Though it's hard to tell the difference isn't it? And you just know that Gina Glickman and the rest of the ET staff aren't the least bit ashamed of themselves. Cause they're as good at rationalizing their self-serving behavior as Dina is. It's just a big circle of flaming bullshit, and certain people are only-too-happy to jump through it.
