Michael Jackson is being sued by the family of an old woman who died hours after being removed from her hospital bed to make way for the pop-freak, who was on trial for child molestation at the time, and had developed abdominal pains. According to the suit, filed by the children of the late Manuela Gomez Ruiz, the star-struck staff of Marian Medical Center in Santa Maria, CA treated Ms. Gomez "like cargo" and roughly removed her from her hospital room when Jackson arrived, demanding two beds (one was for his invisible friend?). Ms. Ruiz died later that night, and now the family is accusing Jackson and the hospital of negligence, inflicting emotional distress, elder abuse, false imprisonment and conspiracy (don't ask me to explain the last two cause I don't know). Here's the thing with Michael Jackson - he has now become such a negative force in the universe that even when he's just trying to get some hospital care, he ends up unwittingly murdering people. I personally wouldn't want to be within fifty miles of this guy, for fear that I might suffer a sudden, inexplicable embolism, or be struck in the head by falling space debris, or attacked by a flock of crazed pigeons. The best thing Michael could do for his fellow humans now is just disappear...what am I saying? Fellow humans? Jackson isn't human anymore. I don't know what he is. Some kind of bizarre hybrid of Diana Ross and one of those mummies they sometimes dig up out of peat bogs. All I know is that, if I'm in the hospital, and Michael Jackson shows up with a tummy ache, I'm grabbing hold of that god damn bed and they're going to have to slice the tendons in my fingers to get me out. I ain't dying just so Wacko Jacko can rest comfortably while the doctors examine him, only to determine that what he needs is a swig of Maalox and to lay off sucking prepubescent dick for a couple of days.
