Crabbie isn't the only one who thinks Britney Spears is in dire need of saving. Apparently, word of her self-destructive antics has gotten around to a lot of different people - including men of the cloth. Like Rabbi Shumley Boteach. It doesn't matter to Boteach that Britney was only a pretend Jew for a little while - he's willing to impart his sage wisdom to her anyway. And here's a sampling of the Rabbi's advice, included in an open letter to the wayward pop-star:
Once you become a parent, Britney, life gets really serious . . . We can all pretend that life is one big party devoid of responsibility. And rarely being home, or coming home drunk, or letting your kids see you in a degraded state, will permanently scar your kids.
Soon your boys will be surfing the Internet. They'll see a lot of photos of you in poses that no son should ever see their own mother . . . Try and be home with your kids . . . Cover up . . . Limit the visits to the nightclubs.
Hmm, Rabbi Boteach has taken quite a task upon his shoulders. Trying to reform Britney Spears - I doubt even the greatest fire-and-brimstone minister of all-time could manage that one. Of course, the Rabbi is right about everything he says - life isn't one big party, and when you have kids, whether you like it or not, your primary responsibility is to them. If you don't want to be saddled with that responsibility, then don't have kids. Birth control exists for a reason. And, if you're one of these sick, self-pitying people who have children for the sole purpose of sucking down their unconditional affection without giving anything back - well, there's no need to get into psychoanalyzing dead blonde Playboy models. What's done is done.
And oh, by the way - looks like Britney isn't interested in slowing down any time soon. Here's some video of Britney getting into the back of an SUV, then being taken out of said SUV with a coat draped over her head, and the camera poking into the back of the SUV to find the floor spattered with vomit. You were saying, Rabbi?
