The cast of would-be hoofers for the new season of Dancing With the Stars wasn't supposed to be announced until Wednesday, but somebody decided to leak the news early, and now TMZ has passed it on to all of us. The roster of dancers for this year doesn't include any one-legged fame-whores like Heather Mills, but it does feature a whole lot of people you thought were dead, broke, living in the wilderness somewhere or just plain never heard of. Here's the line-up:
Aaron Carter - Most losery member of the Carter clan
Wayne Newton - Fake-faced Vegas fixture
Mark Cuban - Some rich guy with nothing better to do
Jane Seymour - Not the third wife of Henry VIII
Tori Spelling - Candy's precious little angel
Jennie Garth - That other blonde chick from 90210
Floyd Mayweather, Jr. - Guy who punches people in the face for a living
Lou Ferrigno - Muscle-bound retard
Nia Peeples - Some random chick
Richard Quest - Limey homo reporter
Gisele Bundchen - Steven Spielberg lookalike
Helio Castroneves - Race-car driver who keeps it on the track (unlike Nick Hogan)
Sabrina Bryan - Blonde with large breasts
Not all of the above are guaranteed to participate - some are merely subs who will jump in should one of the others be injured. The early favorite has got to be Gisele, who will just fuck all the judges, male and female. If I were one of the other women, and wanted to take some attention away from the model, I might consider having a limb whacked off - you know, for the pity points.
(source)
