Apparently someone was messing with us when they leaked that list of the participants for the new Dancing With the Stars. Now, the real, official roster has been released - and it is even lamer than the fake one. The updated line-up:
Wayne Newton - Fake-faced Vegas fixture
Mark Cuban - Some rich guy with nothing better to do
Jane Seymour - Not the third wife of Henry VIII
Jennie Garth - That other blonde chick from 90210
Floyd Mayweather, Jr. - Guy who punches people in the face for a living
Nia Peeples - Some random chick
Richard Quest - Limey homo reporter
Gisele Bundchen - Steven Spielberg lookalike
Helio Castroneves - Race-car driver who keeps it on the track (unlike Nick Hogan)
Sabrina Bryan - Blonde with large breasts
Josie Moran - Model who is not Gisele
Cameron Mathison - Scary glowering freak
Mel B. - Lesbian wack-job
Marie Osmond - Mormon
Albert Reed - Even he doesn't know who he is
So the only interesting subplot, the whole Tori Spelling v. Jennie Garth 90210 alum showdown, is gone. Leaving us with nothing but speculation as to which woman Wayne Newton will hit on first. That's some scintillating TV folks.
(source)
