Actor Owen Wilson, whose proboscis and penis are apparently interchangeable, is alleged to have been in some kind of dust-up with a friend in the hours before his suicide attempt by wrist-slashing and pill-scarfing. The friend's name is not known, nor is there any detail as to what they may have been fighting about. I'm going to go with lover's quarrel, how about you? Owen Wilson's secret gay life. Yeah, that'll fly.
Meanwhile, friends of Wilson continue insisting that he's a good guy. A sample testimonial:
It's hard. He's such a wonderful person. ... He's such a great guy and so smart and just . . . nice. We're just hoping he gets better.
Translation: The next time the fucker tries killing himself, I hope he calls me over so I can hold his head under a bucket of water to make sure he's finished off. Hey, I think I just thought of a job for Michael Vick now that his football career is over.
It's also been revealed, suddenly, that Owen's life has been marred by bouts of depression. Yes, Owen Wilson is not the happy-go-lucky fellow we always thought he was - he has deep, dark, terrible secrets. Whatever. I still say he got upset over the Kate Hudson/Dax Shepard supermarket face-suck pictures. How guilty must those two feel? Again, we are shown the evils of groping in public. If those assholes had kept it to themselves, Owen may never have been pushed over the edge.
(source)
