Word from tabloid land is that Owen Wilson's unfortunate drug-overdose episode was the result of a suicide attempt. Details are sketchy at this point, but apparently, one of Wilson's family members - perhaps his less-interesting brother Luke - discovered the actor in his Santa Monica home with slit wrists and an empty pill-bottle nearby. Oh dear - if the Crabster had a nickel for every time someone's found me like that, I'd have enough money to do away with myself properly.
Just kidding - the Crabster doesn't believe in suicide. Unless it's someone lame who deserves to die. Owen's lame but I don't hate him enough for me to wish him dead. He just sort of annoys me - but not so much now that he's away from that harlot Kate Hudson. And speaking of Hudson - is it just a coincidence that, on the same morning those pictures of Kate and Dax Shepard smooching in the grocery store popped up on the web, Kate's ex-boyfriend Owen tried to off himself? Wow - Owen must be really distraught about losing Kate. Way more distraught than you would expect a guy to be when he's still young and famous and rich and can easily get a much more interesting woman. But, love is a bitch I guess. It makes us do crazy, irrational things. Hopefully, Owen will be able to put this behind him and go back to riding the coattails of more popular stars like Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn. Get well soon penis-nose.
(source)
