Crabbie has some sad news to report - Mischa Barton's crazy little sister Hania has been checked into rehab. Yes, the Barton family got worried about Hania's excessive partying, which apparently led the 19-year-old to become addicted to painkillers. So now everyone's saying, "Gee, isn't it wonderful that the Bartons got out ahead of the problem, and didn't allow Hania to become a complete drugged-out head-case like someone else we know (Britney)." Yeah, maybe...if you believe that Hania would be better off without drugs. I personally am not convinced. I mean, if you're Hania Barton, what the hell else are you going to do with your life? Go to Cal Tech and write papers on quantum entanglement and probability waves? Take up the violin and become a virtuoso? Run for public office? All right, she could probably run for public office, but that other stuff - there's no way. So, you tell me - what is the actual point of sending her to rehab? And why, at this late date, do her parents suddenly feel the need to act like they give a shit about her? It's obvious that they never did before, otherwise she wouldn't have ended up like she is in the first place. The whole rehab thing is such a god damn farce. Bad parents do a shitty job raising their kids, they wind up spoiled little druggies, and the parents try to redeem themselves by suddenly evincing concern, and making the poor little wretches go to treatment. The Bartons ought to be ashamed of themselves. And Hania - listen to Crabbie, baby. Don't let them get to you. When they start trying to pound a bunch of crap into your head about smart choices and healthy habits - don't listen, Hania. Leave your body. Go someplace nice. Imagine how you felt when you were taking your "painkillers." Try to go there again. Don't let the bastards kill your irrepressible druggie nut-bag spirit. We love you Hania. You and Peaches Geldof and Cory Kennedy and all the rest of the quasi-famous fashion-disaster party-chicks. You are the reason Crabbie even bothers getting out of bed in the morning. That and that first wank in the shower...
Monday, February 19, 2007
Hania Barton In Rehab
Crabbie has some sad news to report - Mischa Barton's crazy little sister Hania has been checked into rehab. Yes, the Barton family got worried about Hania's excessive partying, which apparently led the 19-year-old to become addicted to painkillers. So now everyone's saying, "Gee, isn't it wonderful that the Bartons got out ahead of the problem, and didn't allow Hania to become a complete drugged-out head-case like someone else we know (Britney)." Yeah, maybe...if you believe that Hania would be better off without drugs. I personally am not convinced. I mean, if you're Hania Barton, what the hell else are you going to do with your life? Go to Cal Tech and write papers on quantum entanglement and probability waves? Take up the violin and become a virtuoso? Run for public office? All right, she could probably run for public office, but that other stuff - there's no way. So, you tell me - what is the actual point of sending her to rehab? And why, at this late date, do her parents suddenly feel the need to act like they give a shit about her? It's obvious that they never did before, otherwise she wouldn't have ended up like she is in the first place. The whole rehab thing is such a god damn farce. Bad parents do a shitty job raising their kids, they wind up spoiled little druggies, and the parents try to redeem themselves by suddenly evincing concern, and making the poor little wretches go to treatment. The Bartons ought to be ashamed of themselves. And Hania - listen to Crabbie, baby. Don't let them get to you. When they start trying to pound a bunch of crap into your head about smart choices and healthy habits - don't listen, Hania. Leave your body. Go someplace nice. Imagine how you felt when you were taking your "painkillers." Try to go there again. Don't let the bastards kill your irrepressible druggie nut-bag spirit. We love you Hania. You and Peaches Geldof and Cory Kennedy and all the rest of the quasi-famous fashion-disaster party-chicks. You are the reason Crabbie even bothers getting out of bed in the morning. That and that first wank in the shower...
