Terrifying thought of the day: Paris Hilton somehow figuring out a way to live forever. Yes, I know - nightmare-time. And wouldn't you know it, but Paris is already looking into it. Crazy bitch has convinced herself that if she has her body frozen right after she dies, she can someday be resurrected and basically live forever. Apparently she's even studied up on the whole deal, and already given a bunch of money to the Cryonics Institute in Michigan to reserve herself a spot. She said:
It's so cool. Almost all the cells in the body are still alive when death is pronounced. And if you’re immediately cooled, you can be perfectly preserved. My life could be extended by hundreds and thousands of years.
Yes Paris, so cool. For you. But how about the rest of us? I'm just having visions of some future world where unfrozen Paris Hilton has managed to make herself Queen of the Galaxy or some shit. I mean what a joke that would be, right? And of course you know Perez would be there too, still kissing her royal ass. Jesus God - isn't existence horrible enough as it is? Do we really want to have to ponder the possibility of Paris Hilton achieving eternal life? And Mario too?
Of course, there is an up-side to all this: the possibility that some mistake could be made, and Paris could wind up prematurely frozen. You know, maybe she has some kind of accident and dies, and rather than resuscitate her, the nuts who've taken her money just decide to stick her in the cryo-chamber or whatever the hell. And of course, since this is all crackpot shit anyway, Paris would probably just wind up like meat in a freezer for a couple years till there was a power outage and she thawed out and rotted too much, and they just decided to throw her carcass away or perhaps feed it to Gummi Bear. That's what I would call a positive outcome.
(source)
