Garth Brooks has announced that he is returning to music after a 9-year hiatus."We're going to take the retirement roof off over our head, and I already feel taller," the country music jag-off said.
That's the moonshine making you feel taller Garth. You got a bad batch. Don't worry though. Just head down to Doc Riley's and get some of his special potion made of alligator teeth and the pubic hair of the only known 12-year-old Tennessee virgin female.
God, Garth Brooks. I thought he'd died. Well, wished it, anyway.
