Think of the last person in the world you ever wanted to hear had become pregnant. Okay, now read this:
Nicole Richie has gotten herself pregnant.
Same person you were thinking of? Me too.
For better or worse, it does appear that Nicole is pregnant. Sources told Life & Style magazine that the skeletal skank had blood and urine tests which confirmed she is with child. And, Nicole was photographed at a reproductive clinic recently - maybe she thought they were handing out free samples? Plus, Nicole has been looking rather bulgy around the middle lately - and given that the rest of her body still resembles something normally only seen hanging in an anatomy classroom, this bulge can only be distension caused by malnutrition or a little nipper (or perhaps the latest in wacko celeb implants).
The presence of a child in Nicole's womb makes her an immediate object of intensified criticism. Because now her life has changed - now she's not eating for two. Which means she'd better start eating, unless she wants the baby to be born looking like that little African kid on South Park.
By the way, there is as yet no word on who the father of Nicole's baby is. She is of course going out with Joel Madden, but that means precisely squat when it comes to guessing who might have stuck her with the winning stiffy. I just pray to God it wasn't Jeff Goldblum - I can't deal with the thought of his genes mingling with Richie's.
(source)
