Pete Wentz turned 28 on Tuesday, and girlfriend Ashlee Simpson was there to help him celebrate.
And what does a girl like Ashlee buy a fag like Pete for his birthday? How about a Star Wars poster?
Apparently, it was a special Star Wars poster, as Mr. Wentz explains:
Ashlee got me a Revenge of the Jedi poster. I'm kinky and it's like, in Star Wars originally Return of the Jedi was called Revenge of the Jedi, and then George Lucas decided that [revenge] was not a Jedi-like trait. So she bought it for me. I think it's sweet. It's awesome.
Gee, that's great Pete. Um, what the fuck are you talking about? How is the poster kinky? And what does that have to do with you being kinky...
Oh, screw it - who cares? He was probably drunk. Actually, I'm sure he was drunk, given the other stuff he says he did that night:
I got a cupcake bashed in my face and then I jumped in the ocean. The cupcake tasted awesome, but cupcake in your eyes doesn't feel good.
Nor does semen in your eyes, which I'm sure you've experienced too, right Pete? Seriously - why do you keep up the charade? There's no way in hell you're banging Ashlee Simpson. No one is. Because she's pitiful. Almost as pitiful as you with your "kinky" Star Wars poster and your eye full of cupcake. And your eyeliner and your endless array of hoodies. Do us a favor Pete - the next time you jump in the ocean? Just stay in there.
(source)
