Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Britney Is Toast
A judge decided to take pity on Britney Spears and allow the 50/50 custody-split between her and Kevin Federline to continue. The judge did, however, impose a bunch of conditions on Spears - now Britney must be drug-tested twice a week, must meet twice a week with a parenting coach who will observe the way she handles the kids and must enroll with Kevin Federline in a joint "Parenting Without Conflict" program. Spears and Federline were also both told that they must abstain from drinking alcohol or consuming non-prescription drugs for at least 12 hours before seeing the kids.
Who here thinks Britney has any chance of hacking it? Please. There's no way. She can't hold it together for 12 minutes without pouring something into herself or popping something or taking something rectally. Obviously, the judge believed former bodyguard Tony Barretto when he testified that Britney had "issues of nudity and drug-use." The judge said, "based on the evidence presented, the court finds that there is a habitual, frequent and continuous use of controlled substances and alcohol by (Spears)." Ya think?
Hilariously, the judge also ordered Britney and Federline not to make derogatory remarks about each other. So now Britney's not allowed to call Federline a shit-eating ape anymore, and Kevin may no longer refer to her as a smelly whoring booze-monkey. That's the kind of court order that can take the joy right out of life, I tell you.
(source)