Your name is Frances Bean. Your mom is Courtney Love. Your dad was Kurt Cobain but he ain't around anymore cause he "shot himself." I think it's safe to say you were sort of born behind the eight-ball. But you're not helping yourself out by painting your face like a street-walker. Oh I know, I'm mean. But I'm not - I'm just trying to help the girl. Obviously, she has not been surrounded by great influences. Her mom's Courtney Love after all. Frankly, I'm shocked the child isn't a total basket-case. That's a triumph in itself. The next step would be for Frances Bean to wash the gook off her face, take the crap out of her hair, stop partying and hanging out with people like Tallulah Belle Willis, go to school and learn something useful. Screw fame - become a doctor, a scientist, fricking contribute something to society. That's what you people don't get - I'm trying to make the world a better place by making fun of these people. I'm hoping that, by being mocked, they will see the foolishness of the path they're on and change it to one that will lead them to true happiness. I'm a benevolent Crabster. Don't you see?
Damn, that's an ugly kid.
