Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Paris Hilton Going To Rwanda. Apparently There's A Dire Shortage Of Herpes There.


Paris Hilton is going to Rwanda. No, she has not developed a sudden hankering for some real African dick - well, actually she has, but that's not the reason she's going to Rwanda. She's making her trip to the impoverished African nation because she wants to help it. Said Paris to E! Online:

I'll be going in November, after I get back from filming my movie. There's so much need in that area, and I feel like if I go, it will bring more attention to what people can do to help.

And:

I want to visit more countries where poverty and children's issues are a big concern. I know there's a lot of good I can do just by getting involved and bringing attention to these issues.


Well, Paris said after getting out of jail that she was going to commit herself to helping make the world a better place. So now she's doing it. I guess that'll shut up all the naysayers, huh?

I personally never doubted Paris for a second. How could you? She oozes sincerity from every pore of her body. She has never spoken a false or disingenuous word in her entire life. She has never, for example, lied about doing drugs on national television with Larry King and his hard-on sitting a couple feet away. No - not Paris. She's the genuine article. When she goes to Rwanda, it will be all about helping those poor people - and it will have nothing - nothing - to do with some image makeover campaign dreamed up by a highly-paid team of publicists. Paris doesn't need spin doctors to force her to take up charitable causes - she knows what her true calling is. And I'm certain that when Paris does get to Rwanda it will not be a carefully controlled series of photo-ops - she will really get out into the countryside and see what the suffering is all about. We'll see what the real Paris is made of then. There won't be any complaining about getting AIDS when she steps into one of the numerous muddy, bacteria-filled puddles I'm certain. And there won't be any whining about the hotel staff's inability to produce a banana nut muffin for her at three in the morning. She won't be wearing any vaguely disgusted expressions when some Rwandan woman hands her a little fly-covered baby to hold either. No - not Paris. She's got an iron constitution (not to mention a heart of gold).

(source)