Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne congratulate little daughter Kelly after her "triumphant" stage debut in a West End production of the musical Chicago. Yes, I'm sure Kelly was magnificent as Mama Morton - I'm sure she'll make everyone forget Queen Latifah. I'm sure that, in a few years, Kelly will have surpassed all the greats - Kate Hepburn, Eleonora Duse, Sarah Bernhardt, all of them. She will go down as the pre-eminent stage performer of all-time.
Sure. And I will soon have more traffic than Perez. Gimme a break Osbournes - the only reason Kelly got the part is because she's your spawn. It wasn't like she aspired to be an actress all her life, and worked her ass off to get parts, and put up with all the other shit real actors have to endure for years before they get their break - it was handed to her, because the producers wanted a name, and she has a name. But you stand up there and act like she actually did something. You Ozzy with your maniacal stare - without the drugs keeping you calm you'd just as likely bite Kelly's head off as hug her. And you Sharon, you fucking harpy - you're the most miserable, unpleasant bitch on earth, aren't you? Look at the three of you - the products of a dumb-ass MTV reality show. Yeah, you got over didn't you? Congratulations, con-artists.
