"Went out with a chick. A chick named Jessica. I buried my face in her big old boobs and everything was all right. Mmm I say it was all right. But then one day we were laying in bed. And I was stroking those big old boobs. And I felt something warm and wet against my leg. And then I smelled poo. And I looked down...and do you know what I saw? A big old turd laying there on the sheet. And I said, 'What the hell is that about bitch?' And Jessica said, 'Sorry John but I just had to go. You know sometimes a girl just has to go.' And I said, 'Yeah Jess, you're right. Sometimes a girl just has to go.' And I told her to go. Get right the hell out of my face and take her steaming smelly turd with her. She cried but I didn't care. Cause I'm a guitar-playing white boy who can get any woman he wants. Or any man for that matter. Mmm-hmm all right yeah playing the blues like a white man..."
John Mayer at VH1's Save the Music Gala
